Tuesday, June 5, 2012

My exciting trip to South Korea (:

At the Demilitarized zone DMZ in South Korea, I was taking a tour on this campus. When I arrived there was a lady guard. So when I seen her I put my hand up to her asking for a handshake like any normal person would do in America. In South Korea it is disrespectful for a women to shake hands with a man. All the other guards looked at me like I said something about there mother. Thats how mad and dissapointed they were because I tried to shake a womens hand. I could tell by there tone of voice that they were saying insulting things about me in there language. I should have waved to the lady instead. I felt angry that all the other guards got mad at me because they act like I was suppose to know there special ways of greeting each other. This all happened in the front gates of the DMZ. The DMZ is the border between South and North Korea. I heard the guards boots and the rocks on the ground rubbing together every time one of the guards took a step. I smelt the scent of the pine trees on the side of the DMZ. I fell the rocks on the ground poking the bottom of my new creative recreations. I tasted the smell of the pine trees. I could smell the anger the guards had toward me for trying to shake a womens hand. I felt the blood shot eyes of the guards staring at me.

3 comments:

  1. Lyndon, Sounds like people would be extremely offended by that! The story will flow a lot more smoothly if you move the setting description to the beginning, and then add more sensory description about their mad and disappointed looks and body language, also you might use figurative language to describe their tone of voice. I like the words "blood shot eyes of the guards...". Please proofread and fix the following: "I seen her", and use correct there/their/they're.

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  2. This was a good job. Although, you should use more sensory details to make it more interesting?
    But, overall good idea just expand on it.

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Comments with positive tone and connotations are welcome.